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HOLIDAY ENTERTAINING

“Holidays are a time for family and traditions,” says Denise Dinyon, bridal and entertaining expert for Lenox Brands. “Rather than being too creative, sometimes it’s better to allow a tradition to stand, and to provide that continuity for you and your family, year after year.


"Beaded Martini"	"Boxwood and Pine Crystal"

“That’s what creates special memories. As times change, your holidays will have different nuances, but they will maintain the same continuity within your family.”

You can still be innovative, though, especially as a new bride. “You’re merging two different families, so you can take some traditions from your family and meld them with some from your groom’s family. Then everyone feels they’re in their comfort zone.”

The bride’s family might be of Italian decent and might want the traditional blending of the fishes on Christmas Eve. “That might be foreign for the groom’s family. For them, maybe Christmas day is actually the entertainment day.

“So have the groom’s family over for a celebration with your family on Christmas Eve, but then you and your groom can establish a new tradition of ‘Everyone cooking Christmas dinner together’ on Christmas day.”

Maybe the groom’s family has a tradition where everyone gets up and cooks breakfast together before they open their gifts. “So do that.”

What makes the holiday work is making room for both sets of traditions with both families, or creating new ones that please both.

But if the holidays are a time when the bride and groom find themselves torn between families who live in different areas, then it becomes an opportunity for you to be resourceful in allocating time with your families and with each other.

Entertaining Year-Round
“When you’re first inviting people into your home, decide what roles you’re going to play. Who’s going to greet guests at the door? Who’s going to control the action within the room?”


"Butler's Pantry Baker"	"Butler's Pantry Flatware"

But most important, keep in mind one of the first rules of entertaining: “Don’t prepare anything that’s going to make you a slave to the kitchen.

"The point of entertaining is to interact with your family and friends,” says Denise. “A tense, unhappy host creates tense, unhappy guests.” This is especially true of the holidays, when there are more courses to serve and more rituals to consider.

“So make sure that at least some items on your menu can be prepared ahead of time and just popped into the oven.”

Then you can use your family traditions as inspirations to create new ones for you and your spouse.
“On holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, for example, some families give back to their communities as part of their family tradition.

“To bring that holiday tradition into your wedding itself, perhaps in addition to giving special favors to your guests, you also make a donation to a favorite charity in their name.”

And maybe when you’re entertaining in your home, instead of sending leftover food home with your friends or throwing it out, package it up and give it to a local shelter or kitchen.”

Gracious Introductions, Honoring Your Guests
“During the holidays, some families also gather around the table and everyone says what they’re grateful for. That’s a great way to break the ice if you have people over who are not part of the immediate family.”


"Illuminations"	"Holiday Traditions"

Or maybe you pose a fun question everyone has to answer, or each person has to say one special thing about someone else in the room.

“Every time you have family over, you can make it a special occasion. Whose birthday is coming up? Did someone just graduate? Did one of your nieces or nephews just get an ‘A’ on a math test?

“Find a reason to honor someone, so that every time you get together someone receives special attention. Did someone have something special happen during the past month, or did they achieve something special since the last time you got together?

“You can rely on traditions like these all year long, and do the same for your get-togethers with friends,” says Denise. “Try to find special things going on in your guest’s lives. If people don’t know each other, mention those things as you introduce them.”

Holiday Menus
Denise suggests incorporating food both families serve during the holidays. “The groom’s mother might be known for her pumpkin pie and the bride’s mother might be known for her apple pie.


"Mosaic Italia"	"Opal Innocence Crystal"

“Both families would be happier if their favorite dish was included (who could complain?), so instead of eliminating one, include each and please both sides of the family.

“Maybe one side of the family enjoys the grandmother’s stuffing each year, so regardless of whether or not the grandmother is still living, include her best dish for the two families. Then decide what other items you want on the menu to accompany that dish.”

This is where cookbooks and television cooking shows become your friend. “Get ideas from every resource you can find.”

You also can’t go wrong when you go back to the old family standards. “Every family has certain meals that bring them together. They might evoke memories of Sunday dinners at grandmother’s house or something your mother used to make. It could be your mom’s famous lasagna, her macaroni and cheese, or her garlic mashed potatoes.”

Ask your husband what his family gatherings were like and what foods were served, and think of your own family dinners.

Many people come into a marriage with special family recipes. “A lot of young brides go to their mother-in-law and ask for specific recipes because their husband has said, ‘My mother made the best chocolate cake,’ or some other dish.

“You’ve had the experience of eating at other people’s tables. You’ve probably even shared some meals with your in-laws. Just translate some of those dishes back to your own table. It shows you cared enough to make those family members feel comfortable by having those same foods in your home.”

Holiday Presentations
“When it comes to decorating the table,” says Denise, “sometimes you can simply take elements from nature. It could be something symbolic of that time of year, like placing pine cones on your serving plates as an accent.


"Crystal Trees"	"Winter Follies Candle Lamp"

“Serving holiday dishes special to your families is a great opportunity to meld some of the items you have inherited — whether they are serving pieces or dinnerware — along with your new items.”

For family entertaining, if you’ve inherited any pieces, bring them out. “Chances are you’ve mixed your inherited pieces with a lot of new ones. So go with whatever you think makes your family comfortable. Don’t be afraid to use the good crystal, silverware, and dinnerware to make them feel special.

“If you haven’t inherited certain pieces, you may want to buy what you’ve been accustomed to seeing on your family’s dinner table, to create your own sense of continuity.”

How can a bride keep such traditions in mind and yet still express her own style and sense of entertaining?

“Our mothers and grandmothers didn’t always have the benefit of technology,” says Denise, “so though I can’t really make my mother’s famous pecan pie in exactly the same way, I can use this amazing food processor she never had.

“So use today’s technology to update ideas from the past, by connecting with the old recipe in a new way and in your own style. During the holiday season especially, I think people want to take things slower. They want to pay more attention to what you’re doing, preserving the tradition of the holiday.”

Crystal, Flowers, Music
“When we talk about the holiday season, there are often particular scents and colors tied to your holiday memories, and these can be incorporated into your entertaining also.

"Holiday Traditions Bowl"

“If you’re a gourmet cook who likes a very blank pallet in terms of your dinner plates or your foods, maybe your dinnerware tends to be very simple and not have a lot of patterns and detail on it. But then on your table you might include a lot of fresh flowers, nice crystal, and some colorful linens.

“On the other hand, you may try the traditional approach, which lends itself to different types of china, like the Lenox holiday pattern, which has been a best seller since the 1970’s. There are other holiday patterns you can add which include silvers and golds that complement other seasons and holidays like Channukah.”

Music’s also a main factor during the holidays. Christmas has a lot of its own songs. “But it could be something simple, like playing Frank Sinatra for dinner, because your mother used to play it when you were younger and it brings a sense of tradition into the event.”

Adding To Your Registry
When you first start entertaining, you’ll probably find yourself needing additional cooking and serving ware. To identify particular items, Denise again suggests looking at magazines and various cooking shows.

“Watch how they plate and present the food. You may see an interesting platter you need for your table.”

It’s easy to say, “I need 12 dinner plates,” but people tend to approach serving accessories without clear guidelines.

“When you see someone making attractive food in print or on screen, they’re often putting things in unusually shaped bowls or serving it on a platter instead of in a bowl. You never would have thought of putting it on a platter and spreading it out in that decorative way, but now you want to.”

To build on your registry, you also might want to write down your sample menus. “At the bottom of the menus I often write down which serving accessory I will use for that particular dish, and how I will serve it.”

Onto Your Wedding
To incorporate what you learn from holiday entertaining into your wedding itself, Denise suggests deciding on your theme and its level of formality.

"Dansk Denim"

“Is the wedding going to be mostly close family members and friends, or do you have a wider list of acquaintances and business associates?”

Look at the different ways you entertain in your home. “The same principles apply to how you should decorate and choose your wedding menu.”

Just as you would when entertaining at home, “You have to think about what is most important to you at your wedding. Is it about having fun and being more freewheeling? Is it about having a true luxury experience? Is it about the more romantic aspects?

“If you can entertain for a holiday, you’re a seasoned hostess!”

But no matter how carefully you plan, Denise encourages you to be prepared to change your plans if need be. If someone’s late, extend the cocktail hour or perhaps serve the first course buffet style.

“I also tend not to get too caught up in the religious aspect of the holiday, which is why I try to emphasize more colors and decorations like pine-cones and simply just being creative.” For someone else it could be the opposite. Just find your niche and have fun.

Lenox
800.63.LENOX
www.lenox.com

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Above: Press photos